You are down to two days before recording and the buyer of your listing decides that he wants $200 for a
new fan...even though the old one works. You are out with friends and one of them doesn't include tip in their portion of the bill. You are threatened with a lawsuit if you don't delete a post. A friend borrows your car and returns it cluttered and out of gas.
All of these things are more than frustrating. They are downright unfair. After all, why should you take the brunt of someone else's stupidity? The $200? Let's just refuse to record until the buyer agrees to remove this demand...even if it hurts your seller. Your friend doesn't contribute his fair share of the restaurant bill? Demand it right then and there...even if it embarrasses him. Refuse to delete the post...after all, you won't really be sued...right? Go to your friend...friendship be damned...and demand money to have the car washed and filled with gas.
On principle, all these consequences are fair enough. But, they also create a negative atmosphere in which no one can thrive. There are a few things that really can get you through these frustrations. My personal favorite? "Would you rather be happy or right?" There was a little book titled "Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff". Life is just too darned short to get hung up on principle. Pay the silly $200 out of your commission...the seller will remember how you came through. Just know that when you are out with those friends, your share is going to be a little higher...didn't you have a fun dinner? Delete the post...it is only an opinion and a few comments...no one will miss it. Wash the car yourself...it's good exercise and fill it with gas...they may not have even thought about it.
So, next time a challenge enters your life and you start to dig your heels in on principle, borrow my mantra...would you rather be happy or right?
Photo from Flickr by Robert Snache
PRINCIPLES BE DAMNED! (Please excuse the language!)
Via Paula Swayne Realtor- Land Park, East Sac & Curtis Park Homes Specialist (Windermere Dunnigan Realtors, Sacramento (916) 425-9715):
2 comments • Sun City Grand Real Estate Surprise AZ Leolinda Bowers, MBA, Associate Broker • March 30 2009 11:45PMComments
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Leolinda, darned right....I like this philosophy - thanks for the reblog. ;-)
There is one serious problem with this philosophy, though, and I'm a prime example of it. If one doesn't learn how to say no, or how to stand on principle, or how to negotiate on behalf of oneself, eventually those friends learn and they take advantage of you.
The self-help books by Louise Hay are very good for taking control of one's life and refusing to let other people own it, dictate it, run it, or take advantage of it. Unfortunately, I didn't read her books until I was 39.
If one has to keep friends and family around who like to take advantage of one's kindness and generosity, it's useful to lay down the rules before going out with them. If they continue, and I'm stupid enough to let them continue, I have two choices:
Number one is a much more powerful and self-affirming method. I speak from experience. One can be kind and generous while still controlling one's life.